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Confidence and determination, which I have been desperately trying to collect little by little these last two months (because in my heart and gut I somehow felt that it was time), have finally formed the solid foundation under my imaginary legs, I can finally step up and leave

For a bunch of people, it all probably matters a lot, the goal, the meaning, the sense, the aim; it never really did to me, which had kept me staggering for quite a while, not to say my whole life. But then again half of my life I had lived almost unconsciously, on inertia, which is something I canapos;t really forgive myself for, those usually few seconds of regret, amazement and shame, before I realize that it wasnapos;t really me at the time, and The Past doesnapos;t have a lot to do with The Present in this case, Todayapos;s Me is not Tomorrowapos;s Me, and I am not really Yesterdayapos;s Me.
Anyway, I donapos;t have a Goal, but I sure have the Path, which, I have finally come to realize, is more than enough for me. The path and the process are far more interesting than the possible outcome Iapos;d end up with if I concentrated on the Prize. Iapos;m really glad I figured this whole thing out for myself

My desires and wishes, stay hazy and changing as they have always been, they never really had my full attention, which is good and bad at the same time, for I know that one must live his life based only on his wishes; no time for rules, laws, ethics, duties, and such. But I must be more attentive to them from now on, because..

Something will have to work out.

Goodbye, halcyon days
Hello, darkness

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